My First Blog Post

Tuesday 27th March starting blog at 12:21am.

Hi, hello..How do you start a blog? Who even is going to read this? Why am I doing this? Spreading my feelings over the internet?

I am not sure how to start a blog, but I guess I will just start typing and see where it goes from there. The reason I have started to write a blog is because diaries are far more easy to lose that a password in this generation, and things on the internet are weirdly easier to hide. I just want to apologise in advance for my lack of amazing English Literature/ Language skills, hopefully writing a blog will improve them? Hmm maybe. So the reason I am starting a blog is because I want to be able to express my feelings, holding them in doesn’t help. People probably won’t even read this, but at least I am trying.

So I guess I shall start with the easiest option because that is what I am like, I never push myself to think outside of the box I am that person who would rather have an easy life than pushing myself to become the best person I can be. So lets start with 10 simple facts about me.

1. I am 17 Years Old, my birthday is 25th July 2000.
2. I am in a relationship, have been for 18 Months.
3. I don’t know what I want from life, I am just kind of living in limbo.
4. I take medication to make myself feel better.
5. I lie a lot.
6. I am a vegetarian.
7. I love writing stories, however I have no motivation in anything so I never finish or stick to them.
8. I haven’t got any friends.
9. I don’t say how I feel to anyone – this ties in with the lying.
10. My parents are divorced.

So there are some 10 facts about me, you might be interested, you might not.

I am extremely depressed. Don’t know why, don’t know how. But I am. My life just doesn’t seem enjoyable anymore, I feel like every day is forced. I hate being like this, I am extremely happy in my relationship with my boyfriend Jake but when he’s not around, I am alone. I become bitter and unhappy, sometimes I lay here just staring at my walls thinking what it would be like if I wasn’t here at all, if I just vanished away from everything. Me and my boyfriend left and never came back. I think that is what I want, but I know it will end in disaster. We are both students with not very good paid jobs so we wouldn’t last long financially. Money Sucks. I just want to go away forever and live a happy life but money is stopping me.  Why does money have to have so much power over our lives? Have you ever watched the film The Beach? The one with Leonardo DiCaprio. If you haven’t then you won’t really understand the feeling, but if you have then listen or read shall I say. After I watched that film I thought it was weird and I didn’t enjoy it but over the weeks after watching it, I have realised that that would be my dream to go to another island where money isn’t powering our lives with other people who feel the same. Be surrounded with free spirited people, and just appreciate everything we have got. I love to just start again, with my boyfriend. Find somewhere fresh together. Maybe I am just dreaming, a lot of people say I am a dreamer. But one thing I definitely know is that I am unhappy here, in the place I am in now, the people that are in this place, the close – minded people…

I don’t know what to do, I don’t know how to cope. But I guess this is a start, this is my corner, my blog. My life. I don’t know how frequent I will be posting on here. But I know it’s a start.

Finished blog 12:46am.